I Was Nameless

Daily writing prompt

What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?

View all responses

My middle name is Young, which isn’t all that exciting. But it’s also my Korean name, which makes it… unique. And messy.

Korean names are heavily rooted in the Chinese language. Enough so that Korean names have their own meaning in Chinese. Something I didn’t know until I was in high school. When I finally did ask my father about my Korean name, he was surprised himself to realize he’d never told me the story.

“The character for ‘young’ in Hanja means ‘eternal’ or ‘long-lasting’,” he told me. But that was only half the explanation I was looking for. My real question was how I got this name.

Given Korean names are almost always two characters. Ji-min. Baek-hyun. Ji-ni. But my parents had always told me my Korean name was “Young”. Just one character. It never made sense. When I finally got around to asking my dad, he had this kind of heavy sigh. And this is what he told me.

Centuries of Family Tradition

As one of the oldest houses in Korea, our family can trace it’s lineage back hundreds of years to our progenitor in the Joseon dynasty. And thanks to meticulous record keeping, we have the names of every one in every generation since. Like all old families, we follow a strict tradition when it comes to naming conventions.

The closest translation is “generational name”. To put it simply, most Korean given names are two characters. Ha-na. Su-bin. Gu-mi. But when it comes to generational names, one of those characters are selected far in advance by the eldest son in the eldest house. In my family’s case, it was my father’s cousin. Long before I was born, my family’s elder chose the character “young” for myself and my entire generation (all 40+ of us). My cousins, therefore, all without exception have the character “young” in their name. Young-in. Young-mi. Young-chae. The list goes on.

As the first character was chosen by our elder family house, the second is chosen by the eldest in each house. That means my father’s eldest brother chose the names for my brother and all my direct cousins. But when it came for him to give me my name, there was a hitch. You see, my parents were the first in their families to move abroad and my brother and I were the first in our family’s history to be born abroad. In the 6 years since my brother was born (the first son amongst my father and his brothers), tensions rose and relationships soured. And when my father asked for my name… silence.

A Lone Character

It’s a strange thing to be nameless. Apparently, my family didn’t even register an American name for me until they had to register me for public school. And thanks to the family rift, a Korean name was withheld. Permanently.

Looking back, it makes sense. The elder house had decided the generational name decades earlier (my eldest cousin is nearly 30 years older than me). While my father wasn’t on speaking terms with his eldest brother, he wanted to make sure I was still included in our family’s heritage. So, in an effort to show respect to our family, he broke the traditions of Korean naming convention and I was given the Korean name “Young”.

I remember my father looked a bit sad when he finished telling me the story. Apparently, in my family’s history, this had never happened. He felt like I had been punished for something I had nothing to do with. But the disagreement between my father and his brother wasn’t something he could get over. And as the years went on, it only got worse. But honestly, I thought it was cool. It immediately set me apart from my generation and even other Korean Americans. It made me feel special. And in high school, it was nice to feel special.

In the modern day, it’s fashionable to give your children a single-character name like mine. It’s known as “weh-ja” which literally translates to “lone character”. Thanks to a list of famous actors who have shortened names of their own, it’s not considered negative at all.

Since I first heard the story, I’ve had the chance to learn more about my storied family and met more of my relatives. That includes my father’s eldest brother. They still don’t get along and, having heard the backstory, I get it. And I don’t hold any ill will against him. He may not have given me a name, but he gave me a story.